Saturday, 28 August 2010

Fellowship & Communion

As we walk the path of life questions and doubts will always emerge.
O Lord Jesus Christ you walk along with us

As we travel in the midst of a busy life sometimes, we cannot sense your presence
O Lord Jesus Christ you walk along with us

As we crossed adversities and troubles encountering a broken world
O Lord Jesus Christ you walk along with us …

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Monday, 23 August 2010



Death is the term of life
reminding myself daily
a kind of consolation
on awaiting that
finally, a moment
of concern


My soul won’t leave
despite my prayer
don’t want to be alive
shouts despair
echoes of nothingness
darkness and cold
oceans of indifference

I’m alone,
and ageing
tears form new seas
lone islands of pain
no-one heard
pain won’t count
goes unnoticed
but for


The Lord of the sea
recalling it now
the greatest among my peers
my feats inspired legends and poems
songs wooing the sirens
I was admired
my anger made
the sea rage

Men put a price on me
I laughed it all away
being the quickest,

Danced with my lovers
loving at dawn
there were children
by day in the sea,
at night crossing heaven
So free…
they thought me a god
I too made that mistake
in command of the oceans,
the Lord of life
over myself, over all…
so young, I remember it
silent blues…

Waters redden
silence aloud with cries
fear entering the soul
taking flight down
to the very bottom
search for
a place to be
and they follow:
I cursed men,
wept over my sisters
temptation seizes me
fill your lungs
became coral forever
only I think it
haven’t the guts
death I long for
the death that I fear much


Judgment day!
Judgment day!
the great day
they cry out
silly scared fish
looking to hide
has my day come?
struggling to the
surface to see
with my own eyes
that last time
what is it but
blaspheming rage
complicit waters
all in a tempest
and afar off,
some small boat
caught up in it
nature in uproar
I’m so curious
enough to see
not knowing how
I swallowed him
the old man
and the sky is
calm as the sea.

From within
the poor man
spoke no word
is he resigned
to his fate?

I’ don’t understand
silence, creating
like a force
promise of endings
miracle to be born
he was quietness itself
I lost hope of
understanding all,
when it spoke to me
like a brother
calling to the sea
beheld the Spirit
who spoke
without a word


Three days and
three nights
passed upon
the silence
I open my mouth
his body left
silence behind
without abandoning


After years
the silence
spoke to me
like it was
revealing that
hidden secret
it gives me
strength, to
go on living
in gratitude
all of life
that remains

this single
life is already
coming to an
only just
recently I
begin to
silent blues.


Friday, 6 August 2010

She remembers nothing. She does not remember who she is, that she had daughter, lovely neighbours, a church to belong. She does not remember anything. She has lost her memory.

Can you read something from my bible?-she asked when I visited her at the hospital.

I read Psalm 23. “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters...” As I read, she closed her eyes and put her hands together in attitude of prayer. She looks at peace.
Do you remember that you are quite good at drawing?
Am I? She looks surprised.

I promised her that I would talk to her doctor if they can provide her with some paper and pens. She smiles. She looks happy.
Tomorrow she would not remember what happened today, or what I said.
They have done all kind of tests and the doctors are clueless. They do not know why she had blocked her memories; shut down...It is like a defence mechanism. The Doctor said.
It makes sense. Memories can make our life hell.

The wife of my vicar once told me how the memories of her dad about the holocaust were becoming more vivid and disturbing, as he grew fragile and old. Is time cure for the memories?
Before the end of my father’s life, his memories of his mother become more alive. He will ask my mum if his mum really love him. Despise the reassurances he never seem convinced. Bad memories stayed with him. How many people I have meet who are tormented by tragic memories. Who have not been able to make peace with their past. As a priest, I can only be companion and walk with people as they go through their unresolved past and painful memories...I can read with them
“Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.”

I remember a preacher who once he said this:

“When I am old and fragile I would like to spend my days sitting in a rocking chair in the porch of my house, seeing life passing by and then I would close my eyes and remember my life. How God have been gracious to me, my family, my ministry...I would recall all those precious moments...all that memories. I live today in a way that I am accumulating good memories for that time. They will be my treasure.”

This story stayed with me. It has become a memory I would like to aspire.

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

To see the series
The Prophet / Wondering Jew
follow the link

"...from verbal Rococo to minimalistic silence; from contemplating an Icon or lighting a candle to absorbing the beauty of creation or engaging in the creative endeavour; from doing prayers to being a prayer."

From the Episcopal Cafe - Art Blog